It takes a Thief

By Dennis Cox

When a hapless postal worker from "the hood" is mistaken for a secret agent and is given a top secret assignment, CHAOS ensues...

IT TAKES A THIEF is a film about Herbie Hancock, no, not that Herbie Hancock but a Postal worker from Compton, who's mother had thing for "that" Herbie Hancock and named her first born after him. Herbie can't seem to do anything right including his job from which he's suspended from, for killing Ms. Morris's cat "Mr. Tibbs". "Mr. Tibbs" was a spoiled Siamese cat. He was like those cats from the Disney film "Lady and the Tramp". Mr Tibbs had Herbie's number and Herbie knew it. Mr Tibbs did everything he could to make Herbie's life miserable. Herbie tried everything from disguises to Navy Seal tactics but Mr. Tibbs was always one step ahead of him. Herbie even went as far as bringing in a pit bull. Mr. Tibbs was so ferocious he sent the Pit bull running away with his tail between his legs and dragging Herbie behind him on his leash. One day Herbie snuck up from behind and managed to give Mr. Tibbs the scare of his life and Mr. Tibb's suffered a heart attack and died. Herbie was promptly fired from his job.

Synopsis

Herbie was crushed and even his hot and slightly over-wieght girlfriend Monique Jones, couldn't bring him out of his funk. Seeing that he was so depressed she plotted to help him out. She works for the Government in their records department, and had him reclassified so he could get his job back but she accidentally reclassified him with a "Level 5" clearance, the highest clearance you could get in the US. His ID card became classified and re-registered "Top Secret". For all intents and purposes, Herbie was now considered a Special Federal Agent.

Meanwhile, Homeland Security has just opened their latest facility in DC, a One billion dollar compound where all the federal agencies such as the FBI, CIA, DEA and ICE would do joint operations. This compound hadn't finalized its security procedures and hadn't been tested to estimate its weakness via espionage or a possible terrorist attack. Of course every military think tank had mapped out every possible threat but it had never been tested before. The Head of homeland security had a meeting with heads of all the agencies and determined that the facilities needed a true tactical test of the protocols and protections put in place. After the joint meeting, the decision was made to bring together some of the top agents around the world to test the facilities defenses. A reward was to be given the one that can breach the State-of-the-art facility. HS recruited top Agents, Professional thieves, ex-terrorists, ex-Navy Seals, ex-military for this highly classified test. Out of all of those that applied only five passed the rigorous test for this assignment: Their dossiers read like the who's who of fanatic militaristic nut-cases except for one…HERBIE HANCOCK. Among the agents that were recruited were: Angela Mao: A tough as nails ex-Commando with the Chinese Military, Vladimir Romanov: Ex-KGB, who just happened to be a flaming Gay Guy. James Bonn: An agent of Her Majesty's Secret Service, Mahmoud Hassan: An Ex-Terrorist now working for the US Government and Herbie Hancock was picked out to complement the crew. They reasoned that he must be the baddest of the bad because his security background was scarce and they thought that Herbie's name must be a pseudo name because no one in their right mind would pick a loser of a postal worker to head a security detail. Herbie decided to bring in his team of "agents" in other words his homies. He recruited Martin, Eddie, Richard and Woupie; a rag tag team of con-men, petty thieves and scammers. What will follow will be series of misadventures as Herbie using his street smarts and Homies tries to out-scam the top agents in the world.

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